Get this: cows manage to steal food from fruit and vegetable stalls here.
This is practically the most hilarious thing I have ever seen, and my new my favourite thing. (It used to be cow-tipping, which I never excelled at, but there weren't many Moo moo creatures wandering about Etobicoke to practice on when I was a child. The Megatropolis of Toronto kept expanding, the farmland of Etobicoke and Mississauga kept reducing and shrinking. More skyscrapers = Less cows.)
I watched one cow yesterday, from my seat at the roadside cafe Funky Monkey - (Road side? Perchance do you mean, "on the road" Eufemia? As in, all the motorcyclists pass within 5 inches of you? Why, yes, dear astute reader, I do mean that) - come back twice and manage to chow down on some sweets used for temple offerings. It stuck it's great big head into a white burlap sack and munched away.
I mean, these are cows, for God's sake! (ha ha, me make funny funny with cow and idea of holy cow with 'for God's sake' get it? you like?)
You know as well as I do, even if you haven't spent much time around cows, they're not "quick like bunnies". They lumber around. Do-de-do, minding their own business.
Somehow, the next thing everyone knows, the cow has a whole cauliflower caught cleverly in it's massive jaws. Much the way humans end up with spinach caught in their teeth.
Then everyone's brandishing a stick or holding their hand up high, (in the way that for children of Europeans means "I gonna smack you so hard in the face, you gonna feel it in your foot") and yelling "Hi! Hi! Hi!" and chasing the cow away.
Oh yeah, that's a good one, like "the cow gave chase. Sorry chief, we lost 'im. We're putting out an A.P.B. but there's no telling how far he might have gone. That cow could be in Pakistan by now."
Late night TV folks, the influence is disturbing.
The cow trots away. Trots. Clocking in at a good mile per hour.
I had no idea it could be so entertaining to watch a cow, after having the Hollywood-fed existence I've had. I mean, one doesn't become such a skilled a mental escape artist without years of training in romantic comedies and a smattering of thrillers and action movies. (Yes, okay, you can call me Sensei if it pleases you all, little grasshoppers.)
Live and learn.
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5 comments:
My favourite part of this post is the sound effect "Do-de-do". I'm now picturing "Bringing Up Baby" with a cow instead of a leopard.
Word Verification: uidwjp
please, you helping me. What's the deal with the "word verification" thing? I don't understand!
When you leave a comment it asks you to "type the characters you see in the picture above". They're these non-word words. They're like "skill testing questions" when you're entering contests, just random letters that you copy. Why?
Anywho, I thought we could start collecting them and create a new Klingon-like language.
WF: tcqjnq
Hey, check your email.
PS Did you read my chocolate shop blog? We must pay a visit when you return.
Okay, I have to get in on this: The word verification thingie is to prevent spam in the comments. People (well, the computer programs that people have created to do their dirty work for them!) send out mass comments so you'll read their blog/buy their viagra/send money to Nigeria. The word verification makes sure that the person leaving the comment is actually a person and not a computer. So there's a pretty good reason for it.
That's it, I'm done. :~)
Well, thank you. Somebody had to have an answer, but who knew it would be somebody who lives in France.
Now quit your sense-making gabbing and read my blog, buy me some Nigeria and send Viagra (and not some old imitation tat in a Viagra box--I want the real thing).
WF: fuixtbu
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