That Which You are Seeking is Causing You to Seek

Alright. It appears I am missing human company in the form of Rich, as here I am, clearly going blog-mental.

Firstly, I wish you all a Happy India Republic Day (January 26th). I'll be thinking of you all as I sip my chai.

Secondly, I came to the internet several times today seeking words of encouragement from my favourite teachers, sages and gossip sites. Balance, it's all about balance. I added the Hafiz poem, and now, some words from Zen teacher Cheri Huber:

We already are that which we are seeking. Every spiritual path tells us this: "That which you are seeking is causing you to seek." "We are God man-ifest in time and eternity." "For behold, the Kingdom of God is within you." But why is this so hard for us to know? To me, it is because the social conditioning we receive as children teaches us there is something wrong with us, and that to be loved and accepted we must improve ourselves. We start out just how we are, and then we are changed, fixed, punished, and altered until we become someone who is "appropriate" and "acceptable." Then we are able to fit into a family and a society. Miss Manners(!) said, "We are all born charming, fresh, and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society."

Unless you were raised by wolves, you probably heard at least a few of the following as you were growing up: "Don't do that.... Why don't you ever listen?... Wipe that look off your face.... You shouldn't feel that way.... You should have known better.... You should be ashamed of yourself.... I can't believe you did that.... It serves you right.... What were you thinking of?... The nurses must have dropped you on your head.... I had great hopes for you.... Don't talk back to me.... Do as you are told.... Don't you ever think about anyone else?" Somewhere along the line we conclude there is some-thing wrong with us. What else could we conclude? If there were nothing wrong with us, people would not say those things, would they?

Being intelligent creatures, we soon take over the job of punishing ourselves, punishment being the way to improve so that we can be who and how we should be. We learn the self-improvement process as quickly as possible so we can fix ourselves before anyone else notices we need fixing. As a result, most people grow up with an unshakable belief that the primary reason they are "good" is that they punish themselves when they are "bad." The very thought of not punishing ourselves when we make mistakes, say and do stupid things, feel inappropriate feelings, or act "bad," makes us nervous: If I don't punish myself when I do something wrong, what will keep me from doing it again? I might do even worse things!

To this I would say that one process does not lead to another. Punishment does not make us good, punishment makes us punishing. Hating and rejecting ourselves in this moment is not good practice for loving and accepting ourselves in another. Goodness is our inherent nature and punishment is what keeps us from knowing that. We are never going to improve ourselves until we become who we "should" be. If self-improvement worked, it would have by now. Punishment is what keeps us from seeing that there is no one who needs to be punished. It is a learned response, it will never work, and we can let go of it if we are willing.

(excerpted from There is Nothing Wrong with Us: http://www.cherihuber.com/fabric1.html)

Did I mention my new room has a hole on the ground level, just big enough for a mouse to fit through? I'm still trying to decide whether I sacrifice a pair of underwear to stopping up that little corridor.

Figaro!