Running with the bulls in India

There's this Ghat - (The word 'ghats' means steps, the steps down to the water, down to the Ganges, where you can alternately see cremations, laundry and bathing. We used to be next to a burning ghat, a cremation one, but moved to a bathing/laundry ghat, just to soak in a more relaxing, less Westerner-having-a-freakout vibe.) Well there's this ghat nearby where all the bulls hang out, and I neglected to mention I bought a red scarf to stay warm and covered up from prying eyes here.

Well the first time I walked through the bulls I took that scarf off. I mean, I know they're not Spanish Bulls but maybe there's something in a bull's DNA that says "Red means charge, kill or gouge." Then every time after that I said to myself "Self, they're busy swatting flies off themselves, they won't charge you."

Today, walking back from lunch at the Lotus Lounge (a la Elizabeth Gilbert: if you make it to Varanasi you must eat at the Lotus Lounge, or lie to me and say that you did.) Rich says, "let's go around as I'm wearing a red shirt today."

"No worries" I replied, "Besides, that guy walking ahead of us is wearing red and you look like you could outrun him."

Rich laughed.

The other guy, who I must say was walking too close to the bulls, got charged by a bull seconds later. Rich actually yelled out "LOOK OUT!" as it started to unfold.

So that guy ran, and don't worry, it's a happy story, the bull was simply trying to say "You're too close to my posse, man, get lost." No one was hurt, but I laughed hysterically, not because I thought it was funny but because of the number of times I've wandered by all those bulls in my red shawl, humming to myself "Nice bulls, nice bulls, gosh it's almost peacful to walk past 15 gigantic bulls with horns. Like a walking meditation, who knew? Nice bulls." I calmed down by the time we got to our ghat but my heart was still racing.

There's a popular T-shirt at the shops here that I haven't seen on any westerner yet, but we saw it just after we were commenting that we needed a T-shirt that said "No, I don't want to buy anything" - it goes like this:

No Boat
No Chai
No Hash
No Rickshaw
No Postcards
No Candle
No Problem!

That should give you an idea of the ongoing business trade on the ghats and throughout the city. You get followed forever with people trying to sell you stuff, lots of children selling postcards, flowers and mehndi.

Today, I sat and let this girl Pinky do a Mehndi pattern on my right hand. I'd already had one many days ago from her friend Wandana, and I also bought the flowers with floating candles to make an offering in the Ganges, because I promised I would, so I made good on my word.

The girls are right on top of it "Please, Auntie, you promise? Tomorrow you buy again Auntie business not good and must go to school." So today I sat and Wandana comes buy and says to me "Where were you yesterday you promised me you buy candle from me yesterday Aunite and I waiting for you."

"No I didn't"

"Yes Auntie"

"No Wandana. That's called lying, bunny. Because I didn't see you yesterday. I wasn't on the ghats yesterday. I didn't make you or anyone any promises yesterday"

"Maybe before yesterday?"

"Yes, well I bought the flowers from you several days before yesterday. I came down to Assi ghat and bought them from you while you were eating at the omlette stand. I remember Wandana. I know I look ancient to you but I'm not senile."

An aside: Have I mentioned how many people freak out when I say I'm 38 and unmarried? It's like you're a walking plague, a look of horror descends on their faces like, "What's that poor wretch got that she could be in such a terrible predicament".

Even today at lunch, the waiter said "Anything else?" and I said "I dunno, I'll wait and ask my friend" as Rich had gone to the bathroom.

"Friend?" asked the waiter "or Husband?"

I replied "Friend" and turned back to my newspaper so I wouldn't have to say "38, I know, crazy huh? I don't know what happened, my parents arranged something for me at 19 but it fell through, my dowry wasn't big enough."

I mean, I know I'm sounding harsh, it's just curiousity, but I've had several impulses to yell "It's really none of your business is it?" just as Rich had the impulse to yell "BOAT! BOAT! BOAT!" in somebody's face yesterday.

So then Wandana says to Pinky "Kitne?" (which means 'how much' in Hindi. And I freak her out by saying "Oh, kitne rupee Pinky, how much did the lady pay you?" and I turned back to Wandana and say "I understood what you were saying, isn't that wild?" She seemed less than impressed. And honestly, I wasn't trying to freak her out, I was just thrilled I understood. And I was a bit annoyed, I was exhausted by the routine, which I've been hit with many times during many a walk "Remember me? You said you'd by my candle yesterday." Chances are someone said "Tomorrow, tomorrow," in a desparate bid to get away, so we've taken extra special care not to say that here. I did same in Bodhgaya, when I met Pawan, and I let him harrass me to buy Cd's, and made it clear I couldn't buy everything from everyone. Or even from him. As much as he thought my Cd collection required all the major Puja's and chants any self-respecting buddhisty tourist could want. He didn't have the Om Namah Shivayah Disco re-mix that I wanted, so I'm still hunting that one down.

This is my last day in Varanasi, I had several fantastic Yoga classes here. I tried to ignore the little ants that would sometimes crawl on my hand while I was in svavasana (the "corpse pose", or as the other teacher at the rooftop place called it "the pose of dead") but I still moved my hand and shook one of this morning. Still the teacher was awesome, at the Music Centre down the ghali (old alleyway) from our Guest House.

Take a left at the brown cow near the pump and you're there.