The Really Itty Bitty Book of Speaking Hindi Eufemia

Nahee gaaram paani! (No hot water!)

Main bahut dard (I very alot pain)

Main bahut dard hun (I is very alot pain )

Mujhe bahut dard (Pain, I have alot)
Please note, this one was like hitting it out of the ballpark, y'know? The crowd went wild. By crowd I mean, Babu, the person I was attempting to converse with. "Success!" Babu cried, "Success!"

Kya tum pagal ho? (Are you crazy?)

Main pagal hian. (I crazy is)

Kahan Babu? (Where Babu?)

Ap kaise hain? (How are you?)

Tikka (Fine)

Bahut Atcha (Very good)

Thik Thak (Fine on the outside, not so good inside.)
This is like the French expression comme ci, comme ca. I used it once, very appropriately, and Babu attempted to correct me, "Nahee, no, tikka, ap tikka." No, No, fine, you're fine." I insisted, "Nahee. Thik thak." Feel free to start using this expression around the lower mainland, my peeps. Pronunciation is: Teak tack

Maf Kijiye (Excuse me)
This is how one would say it but Maf Kijiye literally is Forgive me

Koi Bat Nahin (You're welcome)
I was using this one because I found it easier to pronounce than Ap ka swagat hai, but it translates literally to: It doesn't matter. Not so liking that meself, so I'm moving on to the other one. To be honest, I don't get opportunity to practice it very much. None of my transactions or interactions have resulted in anyone saying "thank you" to me.

For example, I'm pretty sure the fellow I caught trying to rip me off yesteday wasn't thinking "Swagat Madamji, for keeping me an honest man. How many lifetimes have I acummulated already in trying to earn this master lesson only God can know."

He returned my change folded up and short on the rupees, for an item from an actual brand name company with a price written on it, I mean. I'm not talking about someone deciding I'm a lousy tipper and keeping some extra. Something in his look told me he wasn't feeling gratitude, y'know. S'okay, no worries, I gave him a look too. Not THE LOOK, heavens to betsy no, but a look that still smotes, if I may say so myself.

NOTE: I'm saying Good morning, good night, and see you later all the time. Jai! (Praise be!)

Last week I consider blessed, as I had my first real conversation in Hindi. I had a brief chat with Swamiji's 5 year old granddaughter Krishna. A simple How are you by me and a fine by her. Soon, I think she'll be able to coach me in metaphysics and lead me in a serious spiritual discourse, but she's kindly waiting for me to build up my vocabulary.