I Kid You Nahee

From the Business Section of The Times of India (the section is called Times Ascent: Potential Beyond Boundaries) Wednesday February 13th edition, comes the following: Hide & Seek In recent years, employees doing the 'disappearing act' have become a nuisance in several organisations. It gets even worse when these absconding employees come back much later to claim unfair dismissal. Yasmin Taj tries to delve deeper into this menace of vanishing employees. What do you do when an employee simply fails to return to work and remains absent for some time? What is the exact law for termination of absconding cases? According to Dr. Tushar Guha, Corporate Trainer and Management Director, Nrityanjali Management Services, "When an employees remains absent for sometime with any intimation, the employer has to act in the following manner. Firstly, on the second day of absence, the employer should contact the employee telephonically. If telephonic contact is not possible, then send an official letter within 2-3 days. Even further no response is received; send an official letter which should be registered. The letter must enquire the reasons of absence and also mention the consequences. After a week of sending the first letter, the second letter should follow stating the necessity to appoint a new candidate to the post. Finally, seek legal advice and accordingly act to terminate the services."

Gosh. I don't know what to tell you all, except that I became fascinated by this article, and even so, I could not finish reading it, because, well, you've seen an excerpt, it's not an easy read. One has to wade through the murkiness of the stilted English. (To say nothing of the "that's just plain wrong". Yes, plain wrong, that's proper English, pass the Devonshire cream proper, you follow? Got it? And yes, the door is ajar.)

I don't know how many times I've read the word pundit in the Times, countless, it seems, and I still haven't looked up the definition of the word. It's hard not to see a word like pundit and read "putz", because I never use the former but the latter I have many a time, e.g: What a putz, I'm such a putz, what's new putzy cat, woa woa woa-ooh.

I'm absolutely fascinated by this newspaper, but it gives me a headache trying to read a full article. Sometimes, I read the personals, ads for products and the advice section since they're short little blurbs and I'm totally entertained.

Your Honours, I offer the following evidence*:

Say Yes Because: You can make shopping a full-time hobby

Who doesn't love shopping? Don't you wish that is all you could do all day long? It's simple to turn then to turn this once-in-a-while joy into a full-time hobby without worrying about the money or the time. Leave it to your hubby to do the earning as you splurge away. And isn't this the best way to pass the time as your husband is sitting in office and you are alone at home with not much to do! What's more, you can take him along once in a while and get him to present you the stuff you like. Turning into a shopaholic was never this easy!

If you have any fun reasons to say yes, send your entries to (Email address withheld) The Times of India with "Say Yes Because" in the subject line.

I'm not passing that address on, no way. Here's what I'm thinking: I know some pranksters. And in the event that any one of them got a bright idea, and decided to contact the advice column editor, and next thing I know, this editor suddenly gets flooded like season of the monsoon with suggestions, I don't want that on my pundit head.

*Please note, the evidence was copied word for word, any errors in grammar and cohesion are soley the responsibility of the aforementioned newspaper, not the author of this blog.