How Much Change Would a Woodchuck Change if a Woodchuk Could Change Traveller's Cheques?

How much change does a person have to get used to? How does one get comfortable with change? What's good change? What's bad change? How do you know if it's a change for the better until after? And, while I'm wondering, what's running to and what's running from? How can I tell?

And do I really have to run? Because, I run like a girl.

It's Easter Monday in the Holy Hindu town of Pushkar. I briefly entertained the idea of going to the church I saw in Ajmer yesterday for Mass, but my Hindi is just not up to speed. (Like speed matters in India unless we're talking traffic) And, like I could find that church again, I saw it from the bus, while going around in circles. (That's what it seemed like to me. I mean, if we go left 4 times, isn't that a circle? Or pardon me, a square? Good Ganesha, in India, it's a trapezoid!)

I don't know, the idea of going into the Muslim pilgrimmage city of Ajmer and saying "Pardon me, where is the building that the Christians hang out and worship?" didn't appeal to me. Sing along with me if you remember that 80's hit song I cannot locate the title of but this is part of the chorus: Call me fool, call me stoo-pid.

I called my parents and wished them a Happy Christ has died and Christ is risen Day. And, in the tradition of "Yes, Eufemia, there really is an Easter Bunny" (Everybody clap yo' hands, do the wave and say "HAAAAAAAY BUNNY!") - an Easter miracle: Nobody said anything that made anybody else mad, cry or lose sleep. Isn't that somethin'?

It was a full moon for Holi. Holi Moly. And it's been several nights of poor sleep for me. (Four. Two with almost none at all) Because change is coming. Our time together here is coming to an end. Jessie moves on next week. Oh, actually, this week. The countdown begins. It's getting too hot to practice, even in the mornings, unless you want to practice at 5 a.m. and that's a bit of a stretch that I can't see myself doing right now, much like Paschimottasana, the sitting forward bend stretch. Mincho sometimes comes and sometimes doesn't, but definitely the Yoginis Three are disbanding, making like it's solo career time.

So I need to make a decision about ("Sing-a-long again!" "Get out, really? Do you normally sing this much?" "Sure, I just can't remember the lyrics.") Should I stay or should I go? The time to go is fast approaching. But you know, if there's anything that I build up intense stress around, more than ch-ch-changes, it's probably making a decision. Oh, I know, I've made several in my life. I try to stick with decisions like 'Which pastry should I purchase?' rather than the big questions: Where should I live? How can I assist my parents? Which paper should I print my magnum opus on? Will this hair gel really deliver what it promises?

Sigh.

Where to go? And do I go it alone just briefly? Because I don't like thinking of myself as cowardly. Then again, nor do I like thinking of myself alone on a 13 hour overnight bus ride with the way too friendly Indian men. (I prefer to say friendly and turn this into a positive rather than the negatives I've focused on too much: sexually repressed and freakily disturbed. Yes, friendly sounds nicer, doesn't it?)

Ah well, I'll let you know what I decide. Until then, I found this online today so I thought I'd share: In order to be kind you must open your heart to the gentle qualities of caring and compassion. Be kind to yourself. Have reasonable expectations and give yourself due praise. In order to nurture the gentle quality of kindness, cherish yourself. When you do something for yourself you automatically extend that same energy to others. Kindness melts barriers of ice around people and re-empowers those who are afraid. So reach out to the lonely, draw out the shy, include those who feel isolated and comfort the sad. Your rewards will be a sense of inner peace, warmth and love.

Dhanyavad, Diana Cooper.

So to sum up: Change is coming. I am drinking as much water as possible and even drank tap water yesterday, which everyone refers to as government water. As in, "this government water, is okay." Actually, if we called it that in my country, I might take the ditchwater option. But hey, I'm fine. My belly swelled up like a pumpkin but I think that's just the - okay, okay, I'm just kidding. Some things are maybe not so ha-ha material. For example, there's been some reports of foreigners getting malaria in town. Apparently 2 people have it, I've heard from several sources. (Not the bad kind, so it's okay. My response: there's an 'okay malaria?')

I think that catches us up. May you all be eating and enjoying fine quality chocolate. Please have one extra for me.

Who knew an entire country could be so bereft?